Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
