i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
