i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
