Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
