Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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