OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
