I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
