"it" just moved
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize