gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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