Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
