im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
