But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
