you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
