If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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