I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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