so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
