I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
