Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
