Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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