there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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