If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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