Do vagina's smell?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
