she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize