How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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