Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
