On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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