i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
