I look better un-naked...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
