Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
