I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
