She's JV to your varsity
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
