It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
