I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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