are you still at the devil's house?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
