I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
