My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
