Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
