I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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