Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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