rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
