Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
