1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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