Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize