hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
