You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
