i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize