where does the pee come out of this thing
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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