I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hippo gnu deer
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
