Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
