# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
