remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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