let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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