You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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