i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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