i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize