I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
