I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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