I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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