Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize