Are we in a gay sports bar?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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