i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize