Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
