literally had 100 drinks last night.
I will die if light touches me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
