My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dicks are not precious.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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