Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize